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I'm really rather lost at the moment.
Does anyone have a map?

Merlin

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24 October 2009

I want to plunge my hands in familiar ground
and grow roots from my fingertips.

I want to bury myself up to the elbows
so that the tall grass in summer
can tickle my eyebrows
and leave seeds in my hair.

I want to taste it.

I want to lay there for daysmonthsyears
until there are only seasons and
days and nights and stars and
I forget about October, June, and January.

I want to dissolve into the earth,
to become the green in the grass
and the brown in the soil
and for everyone to know
that here I lay.

Merlin

The Girl With Broken Wings--Manchester Orchestra
Furious Angels--Rob Dougan

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1 July 2009

"So tell me now, if this ain't love, then how do we get out?
'Cause I don't know."

"Savior"--Rise Against

I remember, when I was very young,
my mother and I lived in a trailor.
It was a tin shoebox, a house on wheels,
but I didn't understand that then.
I didn't understand that it was
a sign of how low we were in
the great wide world. I didn't know
that it was second hand, and I wouldn't've
cared if I had. It was home.

And I remember sitting on the deck out back,
laughing, and being held tight. I remember
the smells of breakfast in the morning
after my single mom had worked all night.
I remember friendly shadows and lush carpets
and a plastic sandbox where dreams
were built, crushed, and recycled ceaselessly.
I remember running my fingers through our
dog's thick fur and waking up to a woman
humming "You are my sunshine..."

Things have changed since then. There's
no denying that. Things have changed, and
my mother says they've changed for the better.
She says we have a better life now, because
she has a better job where she makes better
money which pays for her better house. I
don't even know when she stopped humming.

But I remember what home was like.
It felt like ice cubes in summer
and hay bales in autumn and hot
chocolate in winter and old turtle
shells in spring. It smelled like
dogs and dirt and cheap perfume,
and tasted like macaroni and
scrambled eggs.

I miss home.

Merlin

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Take Me Home--After Midnight Project
Runaway--Love and Theft
Fireflies--Owl City
Pretender--The Foo Fighters
Wise Up--Aimee Mann
Defying Gravity--Wicked
Colors--Crossfade
Savior--Rise Against

"When the volcano's ready
there's no priest in the world
can pray it quiet."

"...someone with a real religious
conviction is, I propose, a religious
convict, and deserves locking up."

"I won't have a soul; with a soul there is
everlastingness, and life has tortured me
enough."

Quotes from Wicked, by Gregory Maguire.

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