Mark ye well their vast estate,
the dreams they left to rot,
the victims of apathy--
of fate--
of wisdom men forgot.
Of apple orchards drenched with blood
and bubbles in the air--
of simple, fleeting, selfish thoughts--
here and gone without a care.
Of sewage systems overrun
and yellowed plains of sod.
Of opportunities abused
to walk where Fame had trod.
Mark ye well their vast estate--
the clouds devoid of rain,
the souls and flowers,
wilting fast,
the numbness masked with pain.
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Author's Comments
Written 11 January 2009
The world today. Merlin Comments
 LOVE it.
It's very true, too...(that rhymed, wow...) -- I awake from a daze, pacing an eternity on cold concrete and asphalt beneath a night sky stained with ice... "A Dream of Ice"  no more writers block eh?
and you have let out a masterpiece. in old english!!!!! -- "And if you mess with me; then you will have to answer to my friends!" -Farewell There was a bit of a rhythm issue in the third stanza... Is it still as effective now that it's fixed?
Merlin -- "And then that word grew louder and louder, till it was a battle cry..." The Call, Regina Spektor Yes, most definitely. And it does sound better now. (sounded it out in my head)
-- “N-no, I mean, it wasn’t a nightmare, I don’t think—that is, it wasn’t a bad dream…maybe? I don’t really remember…it was just…a little scary…maybe.” Matt, Dark and Handsome  Very good...
-- just like a crow chasing a butterfly..  Merlin -- "And then that word grew louder and louder, till it was a battle cry..." The Call, Regina Spektor Not exactly a masterpiece, I'm sure, and not exactly Olde English, either, but I'm very glad that you approve. ^^
 Merlin -- "And then that word grew louder and louder, till it was a battle cry..." The Call, Regina Spektor Glad you enjoyed it.
 Merlin -- "And then that word grew louder and louder, till it was a battle cry..." The Call, Regina Spektor  Very cool.
love the language! just one teeeeeny edit, of that it shouldn't just be the world today. I could relate that back to any time, pretty much. Especially that of a ruling tyrannical monarch with too much weight and a heavy hand for the block... *ahem* xx -- "Punk is not just music. It's an art form. We create our own world. You should be free and true and do what you want."  |
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