Like ships in the night--
the cliche moans,
but better ships than hearses.
The road is long
beneath those wheels.
To shallow graves,
from shallow purses.
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©2008-2009 =TEC-ThePenOfMerlin
Author's Comments
Written July 1, 2008.
Just one of those things... It has shape issues. Merlin Comments
 wow! this is very deep, i like your choice of words.
 -- RavMon.exe Yay. Glad you like it. I just wish it didn't look so weird.
 Merlin -- "A nation without a language is a nation without a heart."--Welsh Proverb How To Save A Life  i'm not good a critiquing people..so i'll just compliment you instead.
I really like how your work is simple and to the point, yet there is such deep meaning in it. the reader can devour it on whatever level they please. On the shape, it really doesn't look that weird, because it still has the since of progression...by going from 3 lines to 2 then to one.  -- "This is all an illusion Love is the only reality" ~Restroom Graffiti you mean the spacing?
-- RavMon.exe  Thank you. I'm glad that you like my work.I actually write the stuff, and I'm still not good at critique. Go figure... Merlin -- "A nation without a language is a nation without a heart."--Welsh Proverb How To Save A Life The shape overall. It looks odd, to me.
 I'm a bit picky.  Merlin -- "A nation without a language is a nation without a heart."--Welsh Proverb How To Save A Life Oh! you would make a good typographer then
 -- RavMon.exe  it is short but very effective in its style, especially the italics and dashes, the shallow graves provide really strong imagery and comparisons. like it a lot. well done.
-- A charm In Tryst I Trust Thank you very much! I'm glad that you enjoyed it.
Merlin -- "A nation without a language is a nation without a heart."--Welsh Proverb How To Save A Life |
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