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Like ships in the night--
the cliche moans,
but better ships than hearses.
The road is long
beneath those wheels.
To shallow graves,
from shallow purses.
©2008-2009 =TEC-ThePenOfMerlin
:icontec-thepenofmerlin:

Author's Comments

Written July 1, 2008.

Just one of those things...

It has shape issues.

Merlin

Critiques


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:icontoma7:
wow! this is very deep, i like your choice of words. :)

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RavMon.exe
:iconmystic-in-purple:
i'm not good a critiquing people..so i'll just compliment you instead.

I really like how your work is simple and to the point, yet there is such deep meaning in it. the reader can devour it on whatever level they please.

On the shape, it really doesn't look that weird, because it still has the since of progression...by going from 3 lines to 2 then to one.

:clap:

--
"This is all an illusion
Love is the only reality"
~Restroom Graffiti
:icontoma7:
you mean the spacing?

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RavMon.exe
:icontec-thepenofmerlin:
:blushes: Thank you. I'm glad that you like my work.

I actually write the stuff, and I'm still not good at critique. Go figure...

Merlin

--
"A nation without a language is a nation without a heart."--Welsh Proverb

How To Save A Life
:icontoma7:
Oh! you would make a good typographer then ;P

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RavMon.exe
:iconpandemoniumaeon:
it is short but very effective in its style, especially the italics and dashes, the shallow graves provide really strong imagery and comparisons. like it a lot. well done.

--
A charm In Tryst I Trust

Details

July 1, 2008
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